moving is bittersweet there are so many feelings, but today is different because today is the day that i lost my brother 12 years ago. today is the day i realized that when we move i will be leaving the last place i talked to chris before he took his life. we had been talking a lot more in early 2006. we were planning for him to bring his fiance & her son down for a vacation in san diego in july. i was looking forward to it so much. to host my big brother & his future family. we had just installed the travertine floors in our home & i was researching who to hire to install the baseboards... the baseboards have not been installed for 12 years. i realized today that i must have been subconsciously avoiding finishing that project. i have avoided thinking about that trip. i have avoided thinking about him. it hurts to look around my house knowing that this is the house he would have walked in, slept in, laughed & talked in, but he never did. i think in some way