moving is bittersweet there are so many feelings, but today is different because today is the day that i lost my brother 12 years ago. today is the day i realized that when we move i will be leaving the last place i talked to chris before he took his life. we had been talking a lot more in early 2006. we were planning for him to bring his fiance & her son down for a vacation in san diego in july. i was looking forward to it so much. to host my big brother & his future family. we had just installed the travertine floors in our home & i was researching who to hire to install the baseboards... the baseboards have not been installed for 12 years. i realized today that i must have been subconsciously avoiding finishing that project. i have avoided thinking about that trip. i have avoided thinking about him. it hurts to look around my house knowing that this is the house he would have walked in, slept in, laughed & talked in, but he never did. i think in some way
aidan meets a new friend named joshua i can hardly believe my eyes watching aidan learn to crawl! it seems like it wasn't that long ago that i was cheering on his first head lift! then one day he flipped & we flipped watching him, it's all so fun & exciting :) he's been rocking on his knees & then all of a sudden he realized that he could do more :) he's been doing "push-ups" for a while now so he was all ready to go, he just needed some motivation... aw! that toy plane will do & he's off! tonight he held onto the edge of his baby bathtub & stood up! this is all happening so fast now! for so long he was just rolling around & now he's growing up before my very eyes! i'm taking it all in, hiding it in my heart, praising the Lord & blogging about a bit of it too :)